Being a part of a couple can sometimes be difficult, no matter how emotionally healthy one is.  Everyone has past wounds that can sometimes trip them up.  There are times we each lack a sense of clarity regarding our expectations.


We all end up using ineffective communication skills once in a while (or mistakenly make assumptions that our partner already knows what it is we need or want.)  We can hold unrealistic expectations of ourselves or the one with whom we are in a relationship without realizing we are doing it.  We all do these things to varying degrees.  It is part of being human.








Every individual comes to every relationship, whether it be a romantic one or not, with a metaphorical a play that has already been written.  They have their own individual habits and ways of doing things, as well as their own expectations of the future and how they would like to go about getting there.




They have a plot already written out in their mind.



In successful relationships, individuals are able to surrender control of their individual plot and find a way to start writing a new script, start creating a new story with their significant other.


When difficulties in joining together arise, a simple, effective ritual is for each person to design their own "playbill".  This can be as simple, or as creative as one desires.


Minimally, it should include a title that represents what this relationship means to you, a cast of characters (whether those be real people in your life such as children, in-laws etc...or "fictional" characters that represent various aspects of your own personality and/or your partner's), and at least three acts (beginning, middle and end) with accompanying summaries.







After each person completes their own playbill, they then share their story with one another.  They have an in depth discussion about each plot from beginning to end; the writer of the plot explaining the story in detail, while the other listens and asks pertinent questions to make sure they understand.


When this sharing process is complete, these playbills are set aside, and the two individuals work together to come up with a new script, and a new story.


Elements from the individual playbills can be included, but this new story is different and includes input from each person equally.


This ritual is not only effective with couples in romantic relationships, but can work with any type of one on one relationship, as well as with larger groups like a family or a professional work team.







I have assisted many people with different rituals of commitment, starting by making sure that each participant understands and agrees upon the same definition of commitment.


Call now to receive a free 15 minute ritual consultation. 

949 648 1109


I can help you create and implement effective rituals in your relationship that will strengthen your bond so you can grow together in a vibrant and healthy manner.